By Rita Simon, adapted from a handout used while facilitating grief support groups
You’ve made it through the Holidays despite your grief, and it was most likely not easy. Whether your grief is related to a recent loss or one years ago, the Holidays bring up memories and feelings that can throw us right back into sadness and grief. Moving into a new year you may be wondering, “What now?” Since New Year’s resolutions are a cultural ritual for many, here are some suggestions that may be helpful to you.
BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF: Do what you can and let it be enough. We live in a world of oughts and shoulds, and we suffer from guilt because we cannot meet our own expectations. Be patient.
BE REALISTIC: It will hurt, but don’t try to block painful emotions as they arise. Let them come, allow yourself to fully feel them, then let them go. No emotion lasts forever.
BE KIND, GENTLE, AND FORGIVING OF YOURSELF: Figure out what you should do, balance it against what you can do, and then compromise. Forgive yourself for not living up to your previous self-expectations.
ASK FOR HELP WHEN YOU NEED IT!
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF PHYSICALLY: Eat more healthily, get some exercise and fresh air, especially outdoors if possible. Nature is very healing.
LEARN TO LOOK FOR JOY IN THE MOMENT: Celebrate what you still have. Stop frequently each day to look around you. Appreciate and express gratitude for what is right in front of you.
FIND THE LIGHT THAT YOUR LOVED ONE BROUGHT TO YOUR LIFE: Remember a song your loved one loved/sang, or that smile he/she always had for you, or a special time you spent together. Find those memories and tuck them away to remember on those gloomy days. Bask in that light.
MAY JOY RETURN TO YOU, WARM YOUR HEART, AND LIGHT YOUR LIFE.