By Sam Ahrens
There is a collective conversation about relationships, belonging, and community underway throughout JONAH and beyond. Earlier this year, talking with Lynn Buske, I said I suspected that, for many people, the feeling of belonging was a sort of “prebiotic,” a prerequisite, for getting involved in the community. She replied that she thought of belonging as the “original pain”; in other words, that the experience of not belonging creates emotional pain we often carry throughout our lives. At the end of this conversation, Lynn suggested I take on this topic through a series of articles in the JONAH newsletter.
Recently, I read something that clarified what I was trying to say. It was yet another grim social diagnosis of where we’re heading as a culture. It suggested that we are moving beyond polarization into a state called “atomization”: smaller and smaller groups, many of them online, where “we” find a very specific “us” defined by an equally specific identity, affinity, or interest, often organized, at least partly, with a particular “them” in mind, one that stands in opposition to their group. This crystallized what I wanted to say: I believe the cure for the polarization and atomization that plagues us demands that we think and act with a wider view. Rather than defining belonging by interest, identity, or issue, we can take the view that we belong simply because we live here. We are here, together. That is the first gate of community, and the first level of belonging.
Ultimately, a deeper sense of belonging is a journey people make toward one another, one that demands mutual commitment, and will lead, naturally, I think, to collective action that benefits and sustains the people who live and work together in a community. To encourage people to travel to the first gate and beyond, we have to make the most generous, open, and welcoming invitations we can, in an ongoing way. Next time I’ll look more closely at what belonging is, and what kind of invitations, and welcomes, make belonging possible.